Codependency Survey Scale

by Tim Clinton

1.) If you answered “YES” to 4 or fewer statements, you probably have relatively healthy boundaries, confidence, and wisdom in relationships. You can care about people without feeling responsible for their choices.

2.) If you answered “YES” to 5-12 statements, your life is shaped to a significant degree by the demands of needy people in your life. You often feel responsible for the choices others make, and you try too hard to help them make the right ones. You would benefit from the input of a competent counselor or support group.

3.) If you answered “YES” to 13 or more statements, you have lost your sense of identity, and you are consumed by the problems of addicted or depressed people in your life. You can’t be happy unless you are rescuing irresponsible people from their destructive decisions. In reality, however, your hope for sanity and emotional health is not in that person getting well. You have to take steps to get well whether that person does or not. Find a counselor or support group to help you gain wisdom and strength.

Some common characteristics of codependency include:

• Worry or anxiety
• “Bending over backwards” to take care of others
• Not knowing or not trusting one’s own feelings
• Feeling guilty for “not doing enough”
• Feeling isolated or depressed
• Staying in bad relationships (or sabotaging potentially good ones)
• Trouble with emotional connection and intimacy
• Workaholism
• Sexual problems
• Lack of energy
• Low self-esteem
• Inability to set boundaries
• Perfectionism
• Inability to share (or experience) feelings (emotionally numb)
• Striving for achievement (at any cost)